Content Warning: Pet-Master/Submissive-Dominant/Predator-Prey Dynamics, BDSM, Kink, Primal, Sex.
This blog entry is focused on my personal relationships with the terms “Primal” and “Pet”.
Pet play is a kink that I have a lot of experience in, though I have discovered that I prefer to be connected to the Primal term. As I have gone through my research, I have concluded that I am more interested in the realm of predator/prey instead of still living within the realm of master/pet. There was always something that did not feel quite right about being a pet, though the main theme of being an animal was still enticing.
I still wear collars quite often, but I have never really considered them a specific item to be used only as a pet. As for anal plugs, I do like the tail ones, but I have discovered that my enjoyment of the tail plugs is more about the anal stimulation and less about it being a tail for the sake of being a pet. These days, I tend to prefer a jeweled or stainless steel ones, as they are much easier to clean and maintain. Most of my paws, ears, leashes, and attachable tails have taken a back seat in my life. These days I only take them out for aesthetic purposes instead of for sexual desires. I still love the aesthetics of Pet Play, though I am not interested in personally being a part of a pet/master dynamic.
One of the parts I struggled with the most about being a pet was the sense of humiliation some of the acts were designed to bring across. I was always more after the sense of animalistic nature and acting out being a creature instead of a human. For me, it became less about the dominant/submissive nature of the role-play. I wanted to fight back, to bite and scratch while not being “punished” for it in a Sub/Dom form. Therefore, I spent a lot of time thinking about my relationship with pet-play and concluded that the pleasure I was after was slightly different.
However, some parts of pet play scenes I did enjoy. My favorite was being on my knees and being told by my dominant to offer them pleasure. It was less about the demands and more about a person looming over me and my actions practically bringing them to their knees too. My second favorite was feeling a tug on my collar as my dominant would guide me where they wanted my mouth to be. I like the feeling of a collar being pulled on in the same way that I like the feeling of tights on my thighs.
My least favorite aspects of the pet play scenes was being restrained from certain animalistic characteristics that I wanted to show through. Two things I have come to know that I love to do is bite and scratch. As a pet, I was often told that it was considered “bad” behavior and that a punishment would be in order. Even so far as restraining my hands within pet gloves (with my consent) so I would be unable to use my “claws”. I realized that I wanted my partners to fight back with the same passion instead of restraining it.
Thinking all these things over as I continued my research and self reflection, I have concluded that rather than being a submissive pet (though I still have submissive qualities that I enjoy), I am in the realm of Predator/Prey (also known as Primal play).
A “Primal” (which can also be specified as “Predator/Prey” dynamics if Submission/Dominance roles are used) is someone who enjoys primal play. Primal play is a style of BDSM that focuses on the raw feelings and actions that are evoked by natural impulses and urges. Social norms and niceties are discarded for those natural impulses and urges. The civilized shell most people carry gives way to emotions and sexual desire that ranges from happiness, joy, playfulness, silliness, sadness, and grief. It is letting go of all structures society places on us as we become our raw and wild selves.
Primal play is based around the concept of retreating to the primitive “animalistic” persona of the human experience, where labels and protocols do not apply. Wrestling, pulling hair back, biting, scratching, and growling are some of the many things that fit into this style of BDSM. If there is a high level of trust between two partners (which there should be for all sexual acts with others) primal play can be very intimate and explosive as a BDSM sex practice. It opens you up to your partner in new and vulnerable ways that they may have never seen.
I am Wild. I am Raw. I am Primal.
Photo Taken by Luna Fyrewillow. Model: Luna Fyrewillow.